Into the arms of hypnos..
I wish. For almost a week now I have been unable to switch my brain off at night, and have found myself spending hour after hour designing the new database that is required at work. Don’t misunderstand me here, there is no-one jumping up and down for this new system, so there is no actual need for me to spending my night hours working out the best way to structure the darn thing.
I am tired. I am so very tired. I now have some kind of cold-thing that the philb was harbouring last week. As a result I am more or less subhuman today. I am weeping with tiredness but still I cannot rest. As soon as I shut my eyes, I find myself fretting about suppliers and services and rent and fees and…
I have to confess that I have always had this problem, albeit to a lesser extent, and have become used to waking in the morning with the answer to something that was puzzling me the day before. I used to solve things in my sleep. Now, I’m not getting as far as the actual sleep.
I have tried relaxing, listening to null-music, reading, bathing, drinking warm milky drinks. All the usual attempts. This morning I woke at 01:47 and lay half-awake until the alarm went off at 05:40.
This cannot continue, I feel weepy and hysterical, like an overtired child. Which, I suppose, I am.
My next batch of Open University study material arrived this morning, and I’m ambivalent towards reading it. You see, I’m studying relational database on this course. Do I really want to be encouraging myself to be thinking about databases, when this is the very thing that is costing me my sanity right now? On the other hand, it may well be of assistance, giving me alternative (and simpler) problems to think about, so I can get the monster out of my brain for long enough to sleep.
As a complete aside, I’m finding the wordpress option/feature ‘Post slug’ a little disturbing. Not that I know what it means, or does, but my enfeebled mind is boggling at the wording. Maybe I should look up what it does, so there is one less for my tired brain to worry about..