Teenage Pantgst
On the 07:38 to Basingstoke, there is generally a herd of college kids sharing the train with me. Mostly, they are unobjectionable, but there is one young man who insists on wearing his trousers only half-way up so that anyone walking behind gets a good view of his scrawny emo-kid be-panted butt.
What the hell is that about? I’m aware that I’m approximately 10 years older than him, but even if I cast my mind back, I’m still not empathising. It’s not like that other strange craze I observed a few years back: the one where men wore jeans with elongated posteriors so the crotch was at knee-level but the waistband was at normal height. I confess to not understanding *that* one either. What’s wrong with just having a butt in the normal place?
I see emo-pants-boy every morning, and every morning I get the urge to grab his trousers and yank them skywards (probably with a mad triumphant cackle, you never can tell) for the good of my fellow passengers. It’s not even as if he wears attractive pants. This morning’s offering were baggy and white.
I find myself wondering what his mother thinks about this (yes, I’m *that* old) and have come to the conclusion that he probably leaves the house in a normal state. Once out of sight of the parental abode, a hasty adjustment leaves his butt safely uncovered and he can walk tall and proud.
Emo-pants-boy, if you’re reading this (which you aren’t), for bob’s sake, keep it *entirely* in your painfully-fashionable trousers. Thanks.