There appears to be yet another reason why I am cheerful about running Ubuntu Linux: not because it’s pretty and runs nicely on my laptop (better than XP does), but because I don’t have to sit here widdling myself everytime I open my web browser. Seriously, Windows makes me nervous. I use Firefox, with the NoScript extension and use the McAfee Site Advisor thingy, but still I’m nervous.

Not because of the quality of the code (hey, mine isn’t perfect either) but because it’s the ubiquitous operating system and therefore the target of choice.

I’ve always maintained that there is a certain level of stupidity beyond which you should not be allowed near a computer. In the past, the skill level required to do anything useful on a computer made this self-regulating. Now dear old Windows, with its lowest-common-denominator approach and attempt to garner as much market share as possible, has lowered the bar so far it’s now nothing but a trip hazard.

The problem is, you can generally either have something that is easy to use, or you can have something that is secure. Compromises need to be made if you want to tip the balance in either direction. Having the same password for every login prompt is easy, but it’s not secure. Having different passwords made up of random letters, numbers and punctuation is secure, but it is not easy. Unless you’re a robot. Phil?

Making a computer so easy to use that anyone and their cat can get on ‘this internet thing’ has made life a lot less secure for the rest of us, as suddenly there’s a whole world full of people with computers, with big ‘kick me’ signs painted on their backs. So it’s tempting to search for exploits, and write malicious code, because there’s such a herd to aim at. Even blindfolded, you’re sure to hit someone..

I don’t blame Microsoft for spotting a crack in the door and wedging an elephant in it, it does make good business sense to do what they’ve done. Or does it? Suddenly they have a planet full of customers who are waking up and realising that they have a bullseye painted on them and are getting paranoid. Not paranoid enough to learn how to browse safely, but paranoid enough that Microsoft realise they need to do something to make people feel securer. Hence Vista. (I’ve not tried it, and won’t until it works.)

The trouble with Windows is that Bill’s plan worked too well. Software houses have written software that runs only on Windows, and by getting businesses dependent on this software have ensured tie-in to Windows almost as a by-product. I’m a case in point - I develop things using MS SQL server, and MS Access (and other bits of Office). I can’t not have Windows installed. I use those tools to develop with because that is what my employer requires. Because they run Windows. It’s all very clever, and all very dangerous.

The computer systems of the world are dangerously inbred and I’m not really sure what we can do about it.

As some of you may or may not know, I’m currently attempting to trace my family tree. I seem to be mainly using Ancestry.co.uk and enjoying myself greatly. Not to say that there aren’t a fair few changes I’d personally make to Ancestry’s software: it’s good, but could be better.

Having found the particular entry I wanted in a census, I was idly flicking through the other pages and it occurred to me that it would be really fabulous to have a map of London, with a layer for every point in time that there is data for, and be able to virtually wander round the map and visit each dwelling and see the layers of people that lived there over time. I don’t even want to begin to think about how challenging that would be to do, but I’d like someone to do it.

I’m a great fan of Lush and have been for many years. I am endlessly taunted by their gorgeous array of soaps, knowing as I do that I dislike soap - even theirs - and the way it leaves my skin all rubbery-taut.

I’m not sure then why I decided to order some random items from Althaea Soaps and Herbals, a lovely lady in America who hand makes soap from Marsh Mallow and other yummy ingredients.

I am so glad I did. My delicate flower of a husband cannot tolerate most cleansing products but her Mr X Angry Skin Soap is not only tolerated but actively enjoyed.

Also fabulous is the Oatmeal, Honey and Milk variety of the Althaea sugar scrub. Not to say that the other varieties aren’t fabulous too, it’s just I’ve only tried that one. So far. I shall definitely be back for more, and shall try more flavours. It’s been tricky not to keep sniffing my own skin all day.

Melanie ships to the UK so it’s not just a treat for you Americans. Seriously, try some. I’m a total soap convert now.

In a desperate attempt to prevent the proliferation of sticky notes in the around-the-monitor department, I added a feature to our system to provide an electronic version - available from the toolbar  - where users could store these scraps of information, with the added benefit that they could now copy and paste them.

It was well received, judging by the table contents. One entry amused me greatly - from a user who hadn’t read the email explaining the use and purpose, and discovered the new menu option on his own (it should be noted that ‘1154′ is the name of one of the screens in the application):

“JMC Vessel Red Dwarf Log 26/02/07
The scutters have just found this facility on Level 1154. Rimmer is convinced it’s some form of alien life. Will monitor over the next few days, then jetison as a waste pod if Kryten is unable to connect his groinal attachment.
Lister

JMC Vessel Red Dwarf
Log Addendum 02/03/07
Kryten has reverse-engineered the particle flow accellerator using spares from the android cargo ship we picked up last month. We’ve lost most of the functionality but the memory dumps are very effective for recording notes. Rimmer is dissapointed he couldn’t blast it with the phaser guns.
Lister

JMC Vessel Red Dwarf Log 06/03/07
Ace Rimmer and The Cat are down in engineering to investigate the blockage in the soup dispensers. Last time they were gone for three days. He’s such a smeg head.The laundry deck’s now back on line and Kryten’s caught up with the ironing but I wish he hadn’t put such sharp creases in my boxers.
Lister

JMC Vessel Red Dwarf
Log Addendum 07/03/07
Rimmer and The Cat got back this morning. Bad News. We’re down to out last 4000 poppadums.
Lister”

I’ve set up a blog for our marketing people to start actually putting some content on our company website, and the first thing they did was complain that their first post looked strange on the blog.

Hmm, says I and had a look at the source. Full of Microsoft proprietary style information. I realised pretty quickly that he’d pasted it in from a Word document. Why? I don’t know, I really don’t. I though the Wordpress WYSIWYG was pretty user-friendly. Clearly only Word is inside the comfort zone at the moment. This will change, eventually, but in the meantime, there is a hidden feature in Wordpress 2.1 (I’ve not upgraded yet!) that will make life easier for my marketing guy.

In the visual editor, hit alt-v (IE) (alt-shift-v in Firefox) and you get a sekrit menu appear, one of the options being ‘paste from Word’. So clearly he’s not alone in his clinging to Word as an editor…